Dear Child

He is no longer here; though I know he's been here within the last few hours.  I tentatively stepped down into the clear pound with my bare feet not caring that the white dress, the one I adorn every time I step into the realm, was getting wet. I reach out and lightly touch Wynn's white trunk feeling the smoothed out surface. "He's no longer here, is he?" I inquired glancing up at the branches.

"Yes."

"I was hoping to talking to him. I want to meet him," I sighed leaning forward and resting part of my temple against Wynn. He was like a ghost, close by, observing, but never seen and always one step ahead of everyone. But today I could feel his call, the undeniably pull to come to this sacred place. Unfortunately, I had to resist the call with much difficulty to avoid causing trouble at my job.

"Try calling for him."

I gave Wynn a blank, unamused look. "I don't even know his name. How can I possibly call him?"

"Just try."

I sighed heavily pulling away from the great oak tree. Closing my eyes I inhale deeply trying to figure out what to do exactly. Instead of calling out a name, I gathered up my energy inside thinking of a ball of light inside of me that eventually exploded sending out ways of light. I focused on the feeling and emotions I often received when thinking of him.

"You don't have to call so loudly child."

I felt my heart leap in my chest, I spun around quickly to see the one I've been searching for standing there as if he's been there all along. He easily stepped into the water without a second thought and takes his place next to me. He is focused on Wynn and reached out a hand, resting it flatly against the trunk for a few moments.

I remain silent watching every movement he made, feeling absolutely flustered. His voice was quiet, smooth and gentle but it struck a cord in my very being, within my soul. The moment he spoke, I felt drawn to him and undeniable pull to the point where I just want to inhale his very essence to ease my yearning. It was nothing sexual, this desire, it was --is-- something pure, something indescribable.

As I expected, standing next to him I could just sense how incredibly young I was in comparison to him. I do not mean in the physical sense but through the soul. He felt old despite his physical appearance. He stood much taller than myself by at least two feet, skin like alabaster. Straight, soft white locks fell from the top of his head with half of it pulled up into a pony tail with the rest cascaded down his back towards the ground. His eyes were so beautiful, they were a dark blue but the blue that you would see when night was creeping into the sky when the sun was setting. It felt like a soft, ethereal glow to him just like the moon reflected in the night sky.

"You've been wanting to meet me?" His voice snapped me back into focus. I nodded nervously and he gave a small, gentle smile. "Come, walk with me." He stepped out of the pound and held out a hand for me to take. I slipped my hand into his and he helps me out of the water before we start walking side by side.

The thought of walking somewhere else instantly strikes nervousness in me which he noted almost immediately. "Is something the matter child?"

I do not mind that he calls me a child, I understand in his eyes that I am a very young child. "I've never explored further than where Wynn resides," I admitted, feeling embarrassed for my nervous behavior. However, he does not seem to mind it. Instead he questioned me in a different topic.

"Wynn is the name you gave the oak?"

I nod, instantly feeling the need to explain my reasoning for choosing the name. He listened silently, nodding his head in an understanding manner before commenting his like for the name. Hesitantly, I requested his name for which he sighed softly. "I had a name one but it has long been lost in time. No one uses my name anymore therefore I no longer needed my name."

We reach the destination he guided us to. It's a small cliff that looks upon a large waterfall with the full moon hovering high in the sky. Instantly I could feel my spirit soar at the beautiful sight, reaching high up trying to touch the moon. I could not hold back a bright smile at the sight. There are a few moments of silence before I return to the previous topic. "Do you not have any immediate family anymore to use your name?"

"No.Though I have many descendants the line has extended to far for anyone to remember. Many of siblings are no longer around and there are few that carry my bloodline strongly."

"Since bloodline is not enough," He turns his head, eyes focused upon me indicating that he is listening. "Though many have your bloodline, not many have the draw, or association to the moon?"

"Correct." He reached out and smoothed back by bangs, running his hand down through my hair. The action reminded me of a parent endearingly touching their child out of love. "It's been a long time since I met any of my descendants who fit that category."

"Did I ever meet you when I was... well, in my first life?"

A light shake of his head came in pair with his response. "No."

"Did you ever meet my mother? My first mother?" I added on quickly, correcting my previous statement by adding more detail.

"Only once. She may have my bloodline and does have that moon association, it is no where near as strong as yours. When I met her, I had advised her to give present the Moon Court to you."

I blinked in surprised, no where expecting that answer from him. "You were the one who advised her to do that?" I always knew that mother was the one to name me to take upon Moon Court but I had always wondered why me especially when I was so young.

"It was I child. You were the best choice to take up the role even though it wouldn't be until you were older."

"What about Ciar?" As much as I hated Cair with every fiber of my being, he was still strongly associated with the moon like I was. He was still of the same bloodline as mine though not as directly, he was still a descendant of this man I stood next to.

"Ciar." The tone of voice was one of obvious disdain, as if the name left a bad taste in his mouth. "He let power and desire cloud his head and went insane because of it. The fool falling in love with a star." As soon as the emotion of hatred had came, it disappeared with a sigh. "However, insanity is also apart of our line unfortunately. Many of my siblings fell to the power of the mind, wrapped up in their selfish desires whether it was to be loved or control of absolute power. After all, your word for lunatic has its roots to the word for moon."

"I have lived for a long time child. I have seen the world change many times, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. I may be old, but I do not regret living. I do not wish to fade away from existence as many assume from those who are immortal. There is still something new to see with each passing age." He glanced down at me, a small smile upon his features again. He reaches out and smoothed back my hair again before caressing my cheek. "I am glad that there is still hope for my line."

"For now, sleep. I can feel you fading away from this place."

"Can I meet you again?" I requested, a little afraid that this was my one and only time of speaking to him. He paused before agreeing, saying that he would like to see me again. "Is there a name I can call you?"

"No. I do not have a name for you to call me, however, you can give me a name. Like you have given Wynn a name."

With that I slip away into the darkness of unconsciousness.

Just Let Go

"Let go."

Uriel's repeated words echoed in my head. It was not like a chant but the moment my mind started to draw away from the topic his words smoothly cut through any distracting thoughts. Just like all our previous meetings, it is always the same message: "You have to let go."

Music is not the method for me. His last attempt did conclude with me relaxing more but no where to the depth that he wants me to be.

To absolutly let go and to lose myself is a huge obstacle that I can not seem to climb over. I'm standing at the line where if I step over there would a flood gate of opportunities and abilities that I would have access to. I can feel the knowledge that hovers behind the line but it's the line that I can not cross no matter how much I try to force myself. I have to be in control; despite how easy going I can be with other people when it comes to myself I will not allow anything to move me only if I wish it. If there's something I want to do, I will do it: I make the decisions when it's about me.

I'm scared.

Every time I come to this topic I can feel the desire to move from this spot and push forward, however, I'm scared to make the drop. The rare moments I begin slip away from my control there is a sudden realization that I am doing so and I snap back in a tight grip. My heart is always racing and I can feel the fear.

Why? Why is it so hard to do something that everyone seems to grasp so easily?

"The world won't shatter if you let go."

But it will. There's a sudden realization of why I am so afraid to just let go. It's because I am afraid of the truth that I may find. That truth could shatter my entire world that I've come to terms with the last two years.

The words just pour out of my mouth, "I am afraid. I am afraid that everything I know, everything I learned and felt these past two years are not real. Not that these entities are noy real, I have no doubt with that truth. I am afraid that these relationships that I've re-created with my family is fake. I'm afraid that this person that I've apparently loved throughout my lives just created this elaborate storyline and fed me all these lies in order to entertain himself. And I'm hating myself for doubting him like this. I have hard proof from when he's channeled, my friends assuring with a level of amazement of how much he cares, these memories, all the days and nights where I call for his comfort and never hesitates to give it. But there is that what if.

I'm terrified that all this is lie."

I can feel as these words escape my mouth, Taran's entire body language changing beside me. I can feel the sudden surprise but also that he's taking in every single word I say, processing it. I know what I say hurts him, to have this doubt in him when he clearly does not a single strand of doubt in me. At the same time, he seems to understand and mules over the information I've given.

I just want to step off the edge, I do want to let go but the fear is holding me back.

"It's all right to let go. I will always be here to catch you." Despite my hurtful doubts, he still is here unwavering. How can he be this strong and unafraid?

I stare at the edge, the line, the wall. Please, I beg in my mind to whoever is listening, Don't let my world shatter.