To My Dearest:

If you are reading this know that I love you and that being apart from you hurts more than you can imagine.

I still remember the day I saw you again, after all these years you stood there right before my eyes. Your smile still as bright as the sun just as I remembered but even brighter still. I could hardly believe that fate had brought us to cross paths again. Even though this time around you can not see me, it didn't matter at all to me. All I could do was watch you live this new life with such fascination and with my sister no less. I laughed in disbelief that day I saw you, the world had given me a blessing.

Just watching you was enough. But when my sister opened the door for you to enter this world, I was suddenly scared and excited. Would you end up remembering? Would you end up hating me? What will happen? Will anything happen? So many questions that it tore me apart. I had to keep my distance, to protect us both. But I should have known better, there was no possible way that I could keep myself away from you. You are like a star in the night sky, I can only watch from far away and no matter how much I reach for you, you are always out of reach.

It's frustrating. I know that you understand the feeling of this frustration: of yearning for something so much but it is an impossible desire that can not be achieved through any normal means. No matter how hard we may work, tears we cry, or hours we may sit praying; the chances are nearly impossible. It hurts that I can not comfort you, to not able wrap my arms around you to shield you from this world that has chosen to be so cruel to you. To wipe away any of your tears or share any laughter when happiness does shine upon you like sunlight.

Honestly, I wish that you didn't make the deal with him for my sister's birthday. In my mind it was entirely unfair that they shared such a rare opportunity and yet I could not do the same with you. At the same time though, it is my fault to passing up the opportunity too. She offered you know? Despite not knowing if it was even possible, she offered herself so that you and I could have the same chance. But... I was a coward. I was scared that I would hurt you in more ways that I have all ready that I couldn't bring myself to say yes. I regret that decision so much... I can't even begin to describe it. Are you mad that I chose not to?

I'm so sorry that I had to leave you alone my love. Every moment I wish that I could just come back to your side and give you what little comfort that I can. I know you are hurt, I know you are sad, I know that you are angry. I ask that you just hold on tightly to life with everything you can, push through it like you always have because I am supporting you even if it is far away.  Because at the end of all this, I promise you that it'll be worth it. I am not sure how or what will happen but I will believe that something good will be at the end of all this. It might be years from now or maybe in a day, I can not say.

I still can not say when I will be back. All I can say that I'm searching for something over here on this side of the world and I wanted to let you know that I am okay while I had this opportunity. That I constantly think of you and count the days that I can return with our son.

I also wanted to say that I love you. I don't say it enough, at all actually, but I've realized that I need to say it more and that I shouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks. You need to know this and remember it well. Let it be your strength to know that you are treasured beyond anything this world, either of these worlds can ever offer. To know that I've never loved anyone but you all the centuries of living. I love you. I. Love. You.

Please hang on for you and me. I want to come back to your smile because that's what gets me through the days.

I love you with all my heart my dearest. Please remember that.

Sincerely,
Your Prince