"We need to talk," I demand crossing my firmly arms over my chest. I needed to confirm this information. I faced Carwyn underneath our willow tree, our space that we met when we wanted no one else over hearing our conversations, the leaves acted like veil of protection.
Carwyn merely nodded in agreement to my statement. His long, nearly platinum blond hair was tied into a neat, tight, single braid, but his lengthy sideburns remained free. His normal attire stayed the same; a loose, long sleeve, white shirt with tight, dark pants and matching dark boots. Mine however was not.
A snow white dress adorned my figure with the hems stopping around my ankles prevent the fabric from touching the ground. The sleeves were long and flared out the closer the fabric reached towards my wrists. Gold, intertwining vine patterning embroidered the neckline, sleeve hems, and bottom hem around my feet with a matching cloth sash tied around my waist. My own blonde hair mimicked my twin brother's, a single braid with my side burns free from the bound.
"What do you mean that I have a second romantic soul mate? Is that even possible?" I felt slightly panicked, for reasons I was about to find out.
Carwyn expression mirrored one of slight pain. He didn't want to tell me any of this. "It's possible for certain individuals to have more than one soul mate. You happen to be one of those individuals..."
"And the second one is Kynan? The one I'm suppose to meet in Wales!? I... " I stop. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with the emotions welding up in my chest at the information. Instantly another question pops into my mind. "I've met him before haven't I? In my first life?"
Carwyn nods slowly. "Before Taran, you met him."
"Before Taran? Then how...? When...?" The more I thought about it; more and more pieces starting coming together. Kynan was Carwyn's friend when we were teenagers; he was training to become a druid and was going through bardic training with Carwyn. It was their tenth year in training when I met him.
An image of tall, black haired male flashes before my eyes. His structure is muscular but lean, not one who handles intensive labor but strong enough to handle himself in a fight. Black locks curl around his ears and his bangs neatly styled to stay out of his dark, brown eyes with a tint of gold in them. His skin tone is dark especially in comparison to my twin brother who he was sitting next. I feel my heart beat a little faster at the sight of him but instantly felt shame afterwards. I had Taran, I shouldn't be feeling any of this.
The explanation of why I was with Taran and not Kynan especially if I had met Kynan before Taran slipped into my mind. "I rejected him... he had hurt me." I can no longer stand up. My knees give out and I fall to the ground using the trunk of the willow tree to keep me in a sitting position. Carwyn walked over to me and knelled down, taking one of my hands tenderly.
He brushes his thumb over the top of my hand, his eyes focusing on it as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. "Yes... he did."
Before I can manage out the words of how, I already know. "He... he tried raping me."
Carwyn remains silent, confirming my fears that came with the statement. My mind is racing as if desperately trying to remember what happened. The keyword was tried, meaning he hadn't.
The images start flashing again; I'm being roughly pulled away from my brothers to talk, he's yelling about me talking to someone else. He's jealous, possessive, and was unbelievably cruel that day. I'm being shoved against a tree, pinned as he forces himself on me. I hit, yell for him to stop not understanding why someone I care about was hurting me. I ask why is he doing this before being slapped across the cheek. Before I know it he's being pulled off and punched. Gwilyn, the eldest brother of us all, punched Kynan before grasping hold of Kynan's collar. I'm on the ground still stunned from the hit but when Carwyn's face fills my vision, hands holding onto my face the tears begin. I'm sobbing, confused as Carwyn pulls me to him, holding onto me tightly. Not long after I'm being picked up by Gaerwn, cradling me close to him and through a tear-filled vision Carywn, and Gwalchmai, the youngest brother present, concerned expressions. Eventually I'm sitting by a window watching Kynan walking down a dirt path, he's been exiled from the city.
Everything stops and I'm staring at Carwyn with wide eyes almost not believing what I just saw. But the fear was real. "Both of you would have destroyed each other if you stayed together. You may be soul mates but your presences are to much for each other." He pauses for a moment before finally lifting his gaze. "You had only talked to a friend who happened to be male that day. That's what triggered his anger... When he pulled you away from everyone, I knew something was very wrong. We followed you and well... I had never seen Gaerwn so angry before nor Gwilyn."
"You became rather withdrawn from men after that, not trusting many of them outside of your family. Few years later though, you met Taran," Carwyn continued explaining. "I didn't approve of him at all once I knew you had something your him, and him you. He held all the similar dark features of Kynan: the black hair, dark skin color except for Taran's gold eyes. I thought Taran was worse than Kynan. He had much more wild aura to him where Kynan was more... clean would be a good word to use."
My lips couldn't help but twitch a small grin. Everyone was much more clean than Taran. Carwyn didn't stop, he kept talking as if he needed to tell me all this for my sake. "He's just as you normal describe; rough, vulgar, and can be even cruel. Taran was just as possessive as Kynan but the difference this time was Taran treasured you. If you ever to tell him no, he would listen. He's never cruel to you, and he's good for you."
I didn't know what to say. All of this was something I wouldn't even dream to hear and yet here I was recalling an event of my life that hurt me deep. Kynan was probably the reason why I became known as the chaste queen who dwells in her castle of female only attendants, that is, until I met Taran. But even I recall how much Taran had to fight for my trust and my heart.
"Does he know...?"
Carwyn pauses before answering. "If he didn't, he does now."
I glance towards the veil of leaves to see his silhouette standing by them unmoving as if he's waiting for permission. Carwyn lifts my hand and presses a light kiss on the top of my hand. "I'm sure he wants to comfort you," he murmurs before standing and heading towards Taran. I watch Carwyn pat Taran's shoulder, exchanging quiet words before tucking outside of the willow tree.
Taran's movement are rather stiff and cautious but eventually he makes his way toward me. He lowers himself to the ground in front of me, and just gathers me up into his large arms without a word. I just curl up into him as he grips onto me tightly just feeling rather numb to really feel anything else. I don't want to think of anything but the warmth he is providing. At the moment, nothing else matters.
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