The Fall of Fallon

I made sure I stayed far enough behind in order to keep distance between father, Gwilyn, and Gaerwn and myself to make sure they did not notice that they were being followed. I gripped tightly on the reins of my young horse, one perfect for my small ten year old size, and made sure to not take my eyes off the sight of the three horses in the distance. Hours passed by, the sun lowering down allowing the moon to rise into the starry sky, and I had lost sight of my family once they entered the protection of the forest.

I slipped off my horse with ease but landed wobbly legs. I had never ridden for such a long time before; my body ached and I felt physically exhausted. I just wanted to find a nice spot of soft grass under a nice large tree to curl up under. If there was an oak grove nearby would be even better. Gripping on to the reins in on hand, I reached up patting my horse's neck with my free hand," Let me look around a bit and then we can set up to rest."

Before I did anything else, I froze at the sound of my name and slowly peered over my shoulder to see Gwilyn standing there with arms crossed firmly over his chest. His expression obviously looked less than pleased and instantly I feared the reaction of father now that I've been exposed. "What are doing here!?" he snapped and I flinched away at his tone. "Do you even know what you are doing? What if something happened to you and no one would know that you were in trouble?"  Gwilyn trailed off with an angry sound, it was obvious he wanted to say more but his frustration prevented him from forming anymore words.

I stood there, waiting for what to do next. It was useless to try and resist or even fight, I was caught red-handed.

With a heavy exhale, Gwilyn walked over and took the reins from my hands. "Father is going to be furious." He motioned with his head to follow, and I did without a word. The walk was quick, and a warm glowing light filtered through the trees indicating a small fire that had been built. With each step, I could feel fear grip at my heart. I was more willing to face father's wrath with mother around, or even if Carwyn was around, not by myself.

"I'm back," Gwilyn announced as we step closer, and I stepped behind him, afraid of what was to happen next once we stepped into the clearing.

"All ready? That was a quick scout." I heard Gaerwn comment as we stepped into the small clearing. A small fire was burning in the center with their horses off to the side grazing on the thick grass. Both Gaerwn and father were sitting around the fire, relaxing, until they saw the horse Gwilyn had with him.

"Yeah, and I found a follower." I saw the confusion flicker across their faces but father's eyes found me instantly hiding slightly behind Gwilyn and I felt my heart stop. He said my name evenly as I rose to his feet. His expression looked neutral but I could see the flames of fury burning in the cold blue hues of his eyes. Gwilyn stepped aside allowing a full view of my form and father stepped right in front of me. I swallowed thickly, gripping the fabric of my white dress in both my hands tightly and stared up at his tall form.

"What are you doing here?" He tone was still even which I knew that he was beyond angry. He was never this calm when I was caught doing something wrong. 

I fidgeted under his intense gaze, trying to find words to respond with. I could bare to look at him in his eyes, and bowed my head to stare at his boots.

"Well?" He pressed, his tone slightly rising and voice a little louder.

"I... I just wanted to see mother," I muttered out meekly, feeling tears stinging my eyes."I want to see mother." Was all I could repeat resisting the urge to cry.

There was a moment of stillness. I was to afraid to look up to see father's reaction, and just continued staring at his boots, waiting for what felt like eternity. With a surprise sound, I was lifted up into his arms and I stared at my father's completed defeated expression. "Is that all she brought Gwilyn?" he inquired turning towards Gwilyn who had moved my horse with the others.

Gwilyn held up a small bag for father to see. "She had this. It has some food for herself and the horse, and water. Not much other than that."

Father sighed heavily, murmuring under his breath, "You didn't even bring a cloak." I wrapped my arms around his neck as he stared at the fire, watching the flames in thought. Gwilyn and Gaerwn remained silent as well, watching father, waiting for what he had to say next. 

After a few minutes he spoke, still staring at the fire. "There is not much we can do now. We can't send her back alone and I want both of you with me when we arrive in Falias," he sighed again. "Gwilyn I want her to ride with you tomorrow, and Gaerwn, you'll hold onto her horse with you. And you," he shifted his gaze down at me, "Will stay with Gwilyn at all times unless instructed to do something else. You have to promise me this."

I nodded my head, not understanding the serious nature of what lied in Falias. "Yes father."

*

The morning came and we set out the moment the sun's light began to pick-en the sky. For hours I was saddled in front of Gwilyn, his arms creating a shield around me with his hands holding onto the reins. Falias came in sight and the horses slowed into a trot as we entered the city. No soldiers stood guard by the gate, and the cobbled streets were empty of all life. There was an unsettling stillness that laid upon Falias.

"Gwilyn," I murmured feeling uncomfortable in this stillness, but he hushed me quickly. I could feel his body lowering slightly closer to me, his head hovering inches above my own and I watched as his eyes scanned the area. We continued forward further into the city, still no signs of life, just the sound of the horse's hooves clicking against the hard stones.

Suddenly, as if a veil was lifted, there was sound all around. Voices yelling, metal hitting against metal, wood splintering and so much more noise. Before I really could grasp what was happening, father was yelling out instructions and Gwilyn turned his horse in the direction we had came from, urging the horse to run. I gripped onto the horse's mane, praying that I would stay on. There were people everyone, warriors clashing with any weapon they could get their hands on, arrows slicing through the air to attempt to hit their marks. Suddenly the horse reared back, letting out a terrified sound, knocking both Gwilyn and I off it's back. I couldn't help but scream as I fell. Gwilyn managed to grab me and pull my into a close embrace as he fell onto his back and I landed on him, cushioned by the fall.

I felt dazed but I was all ready being pulled to my feet by Gwilyn. "You need to run, go find somewhere to hide. I'll follow behind you and find you," he ordered before pushing forward towards an ally clear of any warriors. Running on fear and adrenaline, I ran in the direction he pushed me hearing Gwilyn unsheathe his sword from behind. I didn't dare look back, I just ran through the ally ways avoiding areas that had violent conflicts occurring.

Eventually my chest burned for oxygen, and I slowed my run into a brisk walk. I whirled around a corner to freeze in place at the scene a few feet in front of me. There were only two in front of me, swords drawn for combat. The man dressed in black looked familiar, someone I had seen before. His back was towards me with long, curly black locks tied into a low pony tail hanging down from his head. But the other, the one with dark, honey-blond locks cascading behind him I knew. "Fallon," I said his name without thinking.

That was enough to catch his attention, his eyes shifted away from his opponent in my direction. I could see them widen saying my name in no more than a murmur. The man in black peered over his shoulder, golden eyes glistening in the light with a look that struck fear in my heart. I am unsure what had happened next, everything moved so fast that it was over before I knew it. Fallon laid in front of me on his back, blood seeping from lacerations that were not there before and an arm out stretched towards me.

With a gasp of shock, I stumbled back falling down in the process. The man in black stepped closer to Fallon's body and pulled out a small black vial. Uncorking the vial, he pour a translucent black liquid over Fallon earning a reaction from the struck down king. Fallon yelled in agony as the liquid sizzled against his skin, burning through his clothes in attempts to touch skin. I could feel myself shaking as I could only watch Fallon writhe in pain. Fallon stopped yelling, but his chest heaved as his breathing became labored.

The man in black made a unimpressed sound tossing the vial over his shoulder, letting the glass shatter against the stone. He briefly lowered himself, searching for something on Fallon before standing up properly again. His eyes moved to focus on me and began to step forward in my direction. Fallon's head rolled to the side , his eyes filled with a pleading look as he managed to rasp out, "Run."

Despite his instruction, despite my mind screaming for my body to run, I was frozen in my spot watching him come closer with every step. I heard a yell from my side and suddenly Gwilyn was in front of me, disheveled but sword drawn tightly in the grip of both of his hands. The man in black did not falter a step and without any effort slammed Gwilyn away with such force Gwilyn was send a few feet with a cry. I stared where Gwilyn had landed, curled up in pain but struggled to get back up.

I was forced to look away from Gwilyn when a hard grip grasped my chin and stare straight up into those gold orbs. "I have you to thank for helping me take down the King." His lips were twisted into a cruel smile before he let go of my face and turned the corner leaving death in his wake.

I found myself looking back at Fallon and slowly inched forward towards him. Tears filled my eyes, and I had to blink them away to try and clear my vision. "F-Fallon..." Even though minutes ago he looked like he was in unimaginable pain, he looked relieved and calm now. But by now, I knew better. I knew he was dying right before my eyes.

Raising a hand, I reached out to touch his hand that laid outstretch but I flinched away when he told me no. "Don't touch me... I don't want you to touch the poison," he breathed. He had such a kind look in his reflecting in his eyes, my chest tightened in grief. How could he smile at me?

I flinched when I felt myself being pulled back into an embrace. I clung to Gwilyn's arms that wrapped around me and Fallon's eyes flickered staring up at Gwilyn. "I"m glad that you are both all right..." With that, Fallon's eyes lowered closed and this time remained closed.

The moment his eyes shut, I couldn't hold in the raw emotions anymore. I turned inward to find comfort from Gwilyn as I sobbed at the death of the King of Falias.

Dream: The Feud

Two families were at war with each other, but they weren't always in war with each other. I knew this, my family knew this and this useless feud needed to stop. I am not sure when this fighting started but I do know it was a long time ago because with each new generation they learned how to fight, developing their own specialized skills of combat.

Within the most recent attack with each other two had died; one very important to me. The youngest, a child of about 10, was stabbed clean through with a sword from the head hold of the other family. However, the child was a genius with poisons and substances and did not die in vain. The head's lower body and arms were covered with a black substance; some kind of burning poison that I did not know. Someone from his family, a young girl of around 13 with white ribbons in her hair, cradling his head as she wept, "Why won't you let me heal you? Why won't you allow it?"

I stepped forward closer to the scene. He was dying, there was no way he would be able to survive this. His dark, honey-golden hair sprawled out behind him like a sun's rays behind his head with a gentle smile when he saw my approach. He waved the child away, telling her something, but I didn't catch it. She stood up sending a tear-filled gaze towards me before disappearing. I was to stunned to see him lying there, slowly slipping away with each second that passed by. Tears stung my eyes as I lowered myself to my knees, my chest tight with grief. "I'm sorry, you know," he spoke smoothly and lightly as if there was nothing paining him, sounding as if nothing was wrong when obviously there was. "For taking your mother away."

I gritted my teeth at the reminder; the memory flashing in my mind the day mother left on a horse leaving me behind with my father, and my siblings. Crying hysterically, father forced to hold on to me in his arms to keep me from running after. Though he did all that, he was still my step father and now he was dying amongst the chaos of this feud that had no goal, no purpose.

He shifted his eyes away from me and stared at the sky. "I do not blame you for changing the loyalty of some of my children. Now that I lay here, all this fighting seems silly now."

I said nothing, but the tears wouldn't stop coming. There was a new found determination to stop all this. No more; no more violence, no more fighting amongst each other's families, no more death.

He was gone now, a small smile of peace still etched into his face as they lifted his corpse to the fire.

With the death of the youngest child of one family and the father of another, extremely important and most loved to each family; there was going to be instant retaliation.

Hours later, we found the families facing each other mirroring a battle field, before anyone could make a move. My family moved in between the two forces. This time I had proof of that these families, and even ours, were connected and this feud was useless. Gaerwn stood close to me, eyeing everyone cautiously as I began to speak before any anger spilled over.

I held up a small book with the words "La Vida" written in elegant cursive with gold leaf that Mi provided for me. The book itself was a bit worn with age, but very well taken care of. Gold leaf covered the book and within the pages revealing beautiful artwork and words speaking the stories of all these families and their connections to one another. I began reading a story the instantly each family knew, and somehow lost the information that the characters that interacted with each other were their own and those of they stood against.

Which path do I take? Where do I begin? What can I do?

Learn to Let Go

Ever since overcoming the mental block that Uriel encountered he hasn't said much of anything. No demands or urges to do something just staring out the window of my room while leaning against the wall with his arms crossed firm across his chest. He still follows me around if I leave the house but generally keeps to himself. I'm almost positive the only other he speaks to is Carwyn and possibly Pedran.

His behavior is surprising but not surprising if I go off his reputation. I'm not surprised by the fact that he ignores majority of those who are here, but I am surprised at the fact he's not pushing. When I think of Uriel, I think a teacher who will push you to the limit, making you give 110% to the task at hand. However, I hear nothing and feel nothing.

"Because I won't bother with someone who is not willing to commit." I finally ask, after pushing back the intimidation that I have with Uriel, about why he isn't pushing. "I'm still here because you haven't given me an answer if you are willing or not."

Out of habit I flicker my gaze towards the ground focusing on my responding thoughts. Though it takes a moment, I raise my gaze to answer. "I am willing. I want to learn."

He gives a nod of approval.

*

Uriel instructs me to select a station on Pandora and put in my headphones. There are only sounds, no words to distract me. The violin station is filled with modern and classical violin pieces in combination with numerous other instruments.

I'm taken to a small flower field surrounded with semi-large boulders sticking above the tall grass. The sky is of a setting sun like before when I first encountered Uriel except the colors are softer; pastels of yellows, pinks, and blues. I sit amongst the white and purple flowers, and tall grass leaning against one of the boulders. Instinctively I knew the boulders created a circle, and the one I was leaning against was in the center of the said circle. Uriel leaning on one of the large, outlining boulders, arms crossed and staring at the sky.

The task at hand is to loose myself in the music in order to let go. I am to grounded in the physical world, and any time I feel the sense of letting go I reach out and take control. I have to be in control. And that's my problem.

I just sit and listen to all music pieces. Just focusing on the sounds the each instrument makes. At one point in time I would have easily been able to do this but now a days it feels impossible. I love music, I can listen to it for hours on end, sing to all the tunes I know but to be completely consumed and genuinely be moved by musical pieces has long been gone.

After numerous pieces have passed by, eventually I get to my bare feet. I'm not sure what possessed me into doing so but I begin to dance. Just twirling mostly trying to dance to a type of music that I do not normally dance to. I can feel my awkwardness but I continue any way.

I feel a light grasp on one of my hands, and I'm twirled around. A hand lightly at my side, I find Uriel leading me in a two step dance. "Do you like to dance?" I inquiry, surprised that he's dancing with me.

"No." 

Instantly I gave him a mixed glance of confusion and curious. "Then why...?"

He ignores my question and continues with the two step for a little awhile longer before I'm gently pulled away. I'm in Taran's arms now, and I can see the possessive glare that he sends towards Uriel. Shaking my head, I continue on to dance pulling Tara with me to make him focus on me.

The pace slows and I slid my arms up to Taran's shoulders while his moves to circle my waist. I'm curious to know if we have ever done this before; I'm sure we have but I can not recall the moments. I'm wrapped to up into being his arms, and being in his comfort.

Recalling the Past

We don't recall the days that have no substance to them. When we remember the past we recall memories that left impressions in our lives, whether the memories were filled with pain, happiness, or anger.

I'm beginning to realize that the memories I'm recalling from my first life must have some kind of meaning that I need to recognize. The fact that there seems to be a pressing matter to remember my past if angels have been around to aid me in this task. I've just been curious in the selective memories I've been recalling that seem to hold no importance what so ever but if they are being shown to me, there is something to be learned.

"Carwyn can I sleep with you again?" I question hugging tightly onto two pillows that barely fit in my four year old arms. I stand at the side of his bed that seems to be big for him, peering over the tops of the feather filled bundles.

Carwyn groaned slightly with tiredness, lifting his body up heavily to a sitting position. I could barely see the blue hue of his half open eyes. "Father is going to get angry at you if you do."

My mind flashed an image of father's frustrated face when he found out that I had slipped into my twin's bed once again the other night. For unknown reasons father began to separate Carwyn and I more often lately especially when it came to sleeping arrangements. I didn't understand why father was doing this and I didn't feel the same safe comfort by myself. Only with Carwyn did I feel safe enough to sleep. I was willing to risk father's anger if that meant I could sleep soundly with Carywn. "I don't care," I murmured with stubbornness, frowning.

A soft sigh escapes his lips, and slumps back down into the bed. "I don't mind."

Smiling at his answer, I toss the pillows onto the bed and crawl over the side. Carwyn watches as I shift my pillows around to my liking before settling down into the bed, curling up close to Carwyn. Carwyn molds to my positioning, leaning his head gently against mine and holds one of my hands. "Good night..." Almost instantly, I slipped unconscious with the comfort that I had been yearning since the beginning of the night.





I stirred awake when I felt myself being shifted around I felt a different type of warmth that was different from Carwyn but familiar all the same.

"Momma," I slurred, my tone still thick with sleep barely able to open my eyes. I could feel her hand running through my hair in comfort, coxing my eyes to slip close again.

"My beautiful daughter," she greeted back feeling her kiss the top of my head. Her voice always reminded me of honey; smooth and sweet. 

I could feel myself being exchanged into another pair of arms that were strong and steady. Instantly I knew it was my father's but he didn't give off the aura of frustration or anger which soothed away any worries I had floating around in the thicket of sleep. I curled further into the safety of his arms, curling my fingers into the fabrics of his blouse. I could feel the scruf covering his lower face against my skin as he kissed my forehead. "I don't understand why you can stay in your own bed," he murmured softly. He's walking and I can feel the warmth on my back from the sun; I guessed through the sleepy haze he was standing by the window. 

"They're twins dear, they must get lonely without each other," I hear mother offer. With difficulty I manage to open my eyes a little again. Mother has Carwyn curled up in her lap, fingers playing his hair.

I hear father heavy sigh. He walks towards the bed again tightening his hold on me before he sits down on the bed. "Mm... tired," I mumble into his shirt wanting to slip back to sleep.

His chest vibrates from his chuckle. "Then sleep little one." I do as I am told and return to the dream scape.

Still As Water

The first thing I noticed when I see him is how beautiful he is; far more than when I met him as a child. He stands like a porcelain doll. It's been so long since we've met, Kuval.


I peered nervously up at my father but he doesn't spare a glance down at me instead he is focused intently on a young teenage male near the fireplace. The teenager rises from his seat as we approach, and the teenager gives a bow towards my father in recognition. "Kuval, this is my daughter."

Kuval straightens before shifting his gaze towards me and gives a very gentle, bright smile. I couldn't help but gaze at him in dumbfounded wonder. He was incredibly beautiful but what drew more of my attention were his clothes. They were strange, unusual, and foreign. His attire consisted of multiple layers of clothing that was long, and flowed along with his movements. Vibrant hues of blues, purples, and pinks dyed the clothing along with elaborate embroidery covered the pieces of cloth with decorations of a different style that I have ever seen; none of my family members ever had something like he wore. Pitch black locks covered the top of his head and fell down to his shoulders like silk contrasted against his pale, alabaster skin. "Please to meet you," he holds out his hand, waiting patiently.

Slowly I raise my hand and allow his to take it. His touch is gentle and even gentler when his lips brush against the top of my knuckles. I meet his dark azure eyes; they shine like jewels and are deep as the sea. 


"It's been awhile," he speaks addressing me with my very first name. If possible he grew even more beautiful than I remembered from our first meeting in our youth. His silk hair grew out longer cascading down his back as a black waterfall only half pulled up. His style of clothing didn't change over the centuries, merely bigger to fit his larger form. But now I can recognize the origin of his clothing, Asian specifically Korean related. "I wondered why you hadn't greeted me when you took up your position, but," he tilts his head slightly entirely focusing his gaze on me with such intensity it begins to balance on the line of uncomfortable. "It would make sense if you don't remember anything let alone myself."

I nod unconsciously at his statement. "Yes, I can only recall little." I can only confirm his statements. In my chest I can feel a small hole as if something is missing. And I know that the missing piece is Kuval's friendship that had grown over the years.

Cautiously I begin to address a topic knowing it will be sensitive. I'm always amazed at how much bolder and forth coming I am when present in this scape. "I hope... that we can rebuild that friendship we use to have." Instantly I can see his eyes harden with a steely appearance when then sentence processes.

Silence fills the space in between us before with a elegant sweeping motion, his back is turned towards me and leaves without another word.

I knew this was not going to end well, I know he's upset. He has every right to be upset with me and I can not blame him for anything. I broke his heart when I choose Taran and turned down the arranged marriage. In his eyes, I'm sure he sees this as a betrayal. I want to fix things between us after all these centuries but I will never regret my choice.

I fell in love. It just so happens that it wasn't with you, my friend.

The Sky Was Red

The blades of grass are tall brushing against my shins and a line of trees are seen in the background. The sky is bright with intense hue of reds, pinks, and a hint of purple mixing with the clouds present and coloring the world beneath such as the trees, the grass, everywhere it could touch. This type of sunset reminds me of the desert setting that I'm so familiar with. It's a bit strange though, when I enter this scape the moon is always out with the stars not the sun.

He's here, beginning to walk circles around me. I'm starting to get the point wondering if all supernatural entities have a thing about walking around in circles when first meeting someone. My first task to complete is to see what he looks like and as per usual the his appearance comes rather smoothy but it's the attire that gives me trouble. He stands tall, a few feet above me, with broad shoulders and muscular stature. Wave of light red short locks, however, there was a small bundle of hair wrapped into a pony tail at the nape of his neck. Spots of freckles covered the tops of his cheeks and a few on the bridge of his nose. His eyes are stilled, and in focus; the colors changed from green to blue before settling to a vivid apple green. A red band wrapped around his forehead underneath his bangs, something that the Disney's Hercules wore. In his right ear are two gold earrings, tiny hoops and a matching gold torc around his neck. Around one of his arms is a black tattoo spiraling around his arm until it reached near his elbow.  His attire that I settled on was sleeveless, red-orange shirt and dark jeans, which threw me off. I wasn't expecting jeans. He seemed to approve with what I saw, finally stopping his circling.

He wants me to follow him, and he's off in a sprint before I say anything.

My muscles tense wanting to run after, but my mind fights the natural urge. I can hear his voice in my head with an order. Run. Every fiber of my being screams for me to run, to listen, but I still resist. "I am not running. Last time I ran after Azrael I fell and hurt myself," I informed walking through the tall grass until I'm back at my starting point of my trail. I see the willow tree standing next to the dirt trail that leads into the thick forest and he standing at the beginning of the trail. His arms are crossed firmly over his chest; his expression is not pleased but he is also not angry.

"What do you know?" He asks bluntly, wanting to know where I stand with the situation.

"I know that I'm suppose to remember my memories before the summer is over," I answer recalling my realization when I was with Azrael. "I've only remembered about four or five memories, short glimpses for the most part."

Uriel remains quiet for a moment before reaching a hand out and touches my forehead. I feel like I'm suppose to fall back, recall something. My mind goes blank in order to receive, however, there is nothing but darkness. Nothing stirs, nothing rises from the darkness. I'm not sure how long I'm in the darkness but I finally open my eyes when I feel Uriel withdraw his hand from my forehead. His eyes are narrowed, concentrated, and he cocks his head to the side ever so slightly. He's not curious but interested. Something's not right, I don't know what's going on, but we're done talking for tonight.





That doesn't mean the night is over. I'm unsure of how many times I've stirred awake before slipping back unconscious. Every time I stir I can hear male voices trying to talk to me, majority of the time the voices are not the same when I wake up. I feel like they're trying to tell me something important but I can't hear them clearly. I do hear Raphael's name a few times, making me think that he's present when I stir but that doesn't make sense. Uriel is here, not Raphael.

My dreams are random, some have slipped away into oblivion unable to recall. Some of the images I can remember are disturbing, unrealistic, and not logical. One moment shopping in California with my friends, then another seeing a watery grave of young children staring up through the water's surface all killed by one man.

Finally I wake up for the final time.