I pull the wool cloak closer to my body trying to keep what little warmth I had left in while scanning the area again for signs of him. My once tight blonde curls now hung loosely, heavy with rain along with everything else. The wool cloak weighted down my shoulders, soaking up every ounce of rain water that was possible. The cold numbed every bit of my exposed skin, slowly inching for the skin that was hidden beneath the dress and cloak.
'He'll be here soon.' I keep telling myself the same thing over and over, despite hours having all ready past since the meeting time. I just couldn't pull myself away to return home. Worry nagged at the back of the mind; did something happen to him? What if I go home and just miss him? Is he all right? Did he forget?
I pause my thoughts, stiffening at hearing something in the distance. I strained my ears trying to pick up where the sound was coming from, stepping back closer to the treeline. I couldn't assume it was him; it could easily be someone from the village or neighboring tribe. Or worse, a Roman solider. Glancing on my right, I spotted a figure running in the distant. The figure came closer, and as the details became clearer, I instantly recognized his black mess of hair making my heart leap. Finally, after hours of waiting, he arrived.
Hurrying out of the safety of the trees, I ran to meet him half way no longer caring about protecting myself from the rain nor worrying about anyone seeing us. The longing to be with him easily overcame any worries that I had. Instantly he gathered me into his arms as my arms wrapped themselves around his torso. His hands grabbed fists full of my wet hair and pressed me as close to him as he breathlessly murmured my name, apologizing for not being able to come sooner. I buried my face into the cloak that covered his shoulder feeling his chest heave underneath me. "You're here now that's all that matters." I inhaled deeply smelling the forest on him mixed in with his own unique scent.
He pulled back slightly, releasing my hair to move his hands to cup both of my cheeks. He leaned in without a second of hesitation, sweeping me away with endless, careless kisses. It no longer mattered that we were suppose to be meeting in secret or that it was raining. We would always find a way to be together as we were meant to be.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Automatic
The sky gleams red with blood,
The city darkens,
mists seeping in,
blades are sharpen for war.
No one will be untouched,
from the chaos that will ensue,
stars will fall,
and the sun will dim.
Until the light returns to the sky,
hope will be restored,
and what was wronged,
will be right.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Returning the favor
"Taran."
He turned around slowly, facing towards me.
I knew the moment he stayed in Baraz's bedroom that he was thinking about our drop of sunshine. Baraz is a joyful child, well-behaved with tight, blonde curls it was hard not to make the comparison. I know I was thinking about him myself when Baraz was curled perfectly within my arms, leaning his head on my chest. I could only imagine what was going through Taran's mind.
I stepped closer, gently placing my hand on his forearm. All I could do is stare up at him, his golden orbs bore into mine silently. He wasn't going to say anything. "You were thinking about him weren't you?" I questioned hesitantly, not wanting to upset Taran. Remembering has been hard for the both of us. For me, remembering what life I was carrying and to know I had lost it tore at me constantly. I couldn't imagine what Taran felt knowing he didn't just lose one life that day but two.
"Yes." His voice was barely over a whisper making my chest tighten.
The last two weeks he did his best to sooth my pains. Holding onto me close with gentle caresses, whispering the best comfort that he could manage for the situation; 'It's not your fault,' 'There's nothing we can do,' 'We can always try again.' But I didn't--hadn't--return the same comfort.
I flickered a small, sad smile while reaching both of my arms up wrapping them a round his neck. Sliding my fingers into his black mass of hair, I lightly pressed on the back of his head down. His forehead rest against the crook of my neck, his breath skimming against my bare skin. His arms wrapped around my waist as I held him tilting my head to rest against the side of his head. Unlike Taran, I couldn't think of anything to say to ease the pain but just hold him.
I'm sure he didn't want me to see him like this but after tonight, seeing me taking care of Baraz probably triggered something from the past that I didn't remember but he did. We were both suffering at lost of something precious and all we had were other to try and ease the pain.
He turned around slowly, facing towards me.
I knew the moment he stayed in Baraz's bedroom that he was thinking about our drop of sunshine. Baraz is a joyful child, well-behaved with tight, blonde curls it was hard not to make the comparison. I know I was thinking about him myself when Baraz was curled perfectly within my arms, leaning his head on my chest. I could only imagine what was going through Taran's mind.
I stepped closer, gently placing my hand on his forearm. All I could do is stare up at him, his golden orbs bore into mine silently. He wasn't going to say anything. "You were thinking about him weren't you?" I questioned hesitantly, not wanting to upset Taran. Remembering has been hard for the both of us. For me, remembering what life I was carrying and to know I had lost it tore at me constantly. I couldn't imagine what Taran felt knowing he didn't just lose one life that day but two.
"Yes." His voice was barely over a whisper making my chest tighten.
The last two weeks he did his best to sooth my pains. Holding onto me close with gentle caresses, whispering the best comfort that he could manage for the situation; 'It's not your fault,' 'There's nothing we can do,' 'We can always try again.' But I didn't--hadn't--return the same comfort.
I flickered a small, sad smile while reaching both of my arms up wrapping them a round his neck. Sliding my fingers into his black mass of hair, I lightly pressed on the back of his head down. His forehead rest against the crook of my neck, his breath skimming against my bare skin. His arms wrapped around my waist as I held him tilting my head to rest against the side of his head. Unlike Taran, I couldn't think of anything to say to ease the pain but just hold him.
I'm sure he didn't want me to see him like this but after tonight, seeing me taking care of Baraz probably triggered something from the past that I didn't remember but he did. We were both suffering at lost of something precious and all we had were other to try and ease the pain.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Drop of Sunshine
The gift of sight is not always a curse but it is not
always a blessing. The flow of time is always changing thus nothing is
ever certain even if something has been seen. There is always the
possibility that something will change and the path will alter.
And the path did alter, away from what I saw to come. My precious child snatched away by the shifting sands of time. The child was going to be a beautiful boy. Honey golden locks, curled and wavy just like his father’s, would frame his round face. A single dimple would claim one of cheeks brightening every smile. Eyes would be a light gold hue that would stand out from beneath the tips of his sun-kissed bangs. An even tan smooth over his skin, darker than my own but lighter than his father's. He was going to be a drop of pure sunshine. Our sunshine.
But he never had the chance to see the light or to even breathe the sweet air. He will never be reincarnated; forever lost without getting an opportunity.
Remembering hurts terribly, and leaves me scared for the future. Because I see another child, a daughter of the night, but I'm afraid that darkness will snatch her away too.
And the path did alter, away from what I saw to come. My precious child snatched away by the shifting sands of time. The child was going to be a beautiful boy. Honey golden locks, curled and wavy just like his father’s, would frame his round face. A single dimple would claim one of cheeks brightening every smile. Eyes would be a light gold hue that would stand out from beneath the tips of his sun-kissed bangs. An even tan smooth over his skin, darker than my own but lighter than his father's. He was going to be a drop of pure sunshine. Our sunshine.
But he never had the chance to see the light or to even breathe the sweet air. He will never be reincarnated; forever lost without getting an opportunity.
Remembering hurts terribly, and leaves me scared for the future. Because I see another child, a daughter of the night, but I'm afraid that darkness will snatch her away too.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Always Together
It was always the same, no matter what day. My little hands curled in the fine textile of his blouse following behind Carwyn like a shadow, never leaving his side. If any of our kin tried pulling us apart would only be met with resistance. I would kick, tears in eyes, holding onto the fabric of his clothes even tighter refusing to let go. He mimicked similar behavior. His arms always found themselves around me holding onto me tightly, giving a defiant glance to anyone who tried to pull us apart. Eventually they gave up and allowed us to do what we wished.
But nothing can stay the same forever.
I've never seen his sharp cerulean eyes directing a glare at me before. His face flush red with anger and his voice yelling at me for the first time. I sat on the floor, just staring up at him with wide eyes, my chest tight with fear. Where was the kind brother that never yelled at me? Who always gave me a smile and bear hug just because he could? Who was this in front of me? My hands reached out trying to hold onto him, wanting him to stop yelling but he stepped back wrenching himself out of my grasp. Sending another vicious glare he stormed out of the room, and I watched his back disappear as the doors slammed loudly behind him.
"Carwyn..." I whimpered curling myself up into a little ball on the carpet floor, tears stinging my eyes. Hiding my face in my brought up knees, I just cried out loud, not caring who heard me. "Carwyn."
Where was my brother?
It wasn't long before I heard the doors swing open, banging against the stone walls. I heard vaguely through my cries the sound of fabric dragging along the floor before I was engulfed in a pair of arms, and pulled into a gentle embrace. Immediately I uncurled myself and clung to my mother's form. "Shh... what is my daughter? What's wrong? Where's Carwyn?"
At the sound of his name I only cried louder. It hurt not being next to Carwyn. It felt like a part of myself was missing, that I was incomplete. But I was terrified of seeing that side of Carwyn, I was terrified to see him again. Mother tried hushing me, her fingers gliding through my locks coxing me to calm down. Eventually, after a long while, I did. Just lying there in her arms, exhaustion claiming my tiny body. My eyes felt puffy and heavy, and I sniffed loudly trying to clear my airways.
Mother began to lift me, my arms naturally wrapping themselves around her neck as her arms secured themselves around me before lifting. She stood up, and over her shoulder I saw father standing in the doorway. He appeared worried, his brows were furrowed in concern but he didn't approach any closer. Mother turned towards him making him leave my sight and I stared into the empty room as she stepped forward. She paused and I felt father's strong hand rub affectionately on my back murmuring my name.
"Carwyn." I heard mother's stern call of his name and automatically I turned my head to peer over my shoulder. Carwyn stood in the hall by a corner, his face was still pink from his previous outburst. But he stiffened when she called him name, his expression held regret but I could only imagine it was regret for coming back and getting caught by mother.
"Carwyn come here." This time it was father and hesitantly, Carwyn unwillingly stepped towards us. I tightened my grip around mother's neck when he neared. He stopped right in front of mother and father, his head ducked low slightly. Mother stared to lower me down to the floor in front of Carwyn, and realizing what she was doing I started to scream. "No!!" I cried clinging to mother's neck tighter, lifting my feet up to her waist to keep them from touching the ground.
Mother said by name, but I ignored her tears coming again. I didn't want to be near him, I was scared of him yelling at me again. I was scared to see that piercing glare. Through my tantrum I failed to see the sudden hurt that crossed Carwyn's face.
Mother secured me in her arms again, walking down the hall way into another room.
The late morning passed to late afternoon. For once, I clung to mother's skirts rather than the Carwyn's blouse. It didn't feel the same, but mother was next comfort I had. My older brothers didn't want their younger sister clinging to them; they want to sword fight, run free. I was only an unwanted burden in their eyes. And my two younger siblings were still to young to wander around without my parents or some sort of adult around.
"Come now, you've been inside all day." Mother gently but firmly urged me forward towards the small steps to the garden. "Enjoy some time outside in the sun. Learn something new from nature, or even go play with your brothers."
My shoulders sagged at her suggestion of my brothers. I all ready knew they would refuse and it was mostly likely that Carwyn was with them. He was a boy, he was allowed to play with our brothers without any prejudice. "But mother-"
Mother cut me off with my name making me wince a little from the tone of voice she gave. There was no point in arguing anymore. "Now go on. You'll be allowed back in after a few hours." With that, she whirled around and disappeared behind closing doors.
With a frown I stepped down to the grass feeling the soft blades under my bare feet. Unable to go back inside I began to wander around. It felt strange being by myself, unnatural almost. I spend a good hour just gazing at the flowers, chasing butterflies, and rolling around in the grass. Until I spotted my brothers in the garden. Instantly, I scrambled behind a patch of overgrown ivy, weaving around a wooden structure.
Squatting down, I waited for them to pass. Minutes went by but I could still hear them from a far. But to far to hear anything comprehensible words. But finally I heard his name. "Carwyn, where you going!?"
I held my breath and I could hear foot steps getting closer. I didn't hear a response from Carwyn but I knew it was his footsteps that were getting closer. Just like I assumed, Carwyn came into full view walking right next to my hiding spot. At first he passed me and I thought I was spared a meeting but he stopped suddenly as if he knew, and he turned around. His eyes were wide with surprise, and I was just as surprised myself that he turned around so suddenly.
A moment past.
"Stay." He told me before taking off somewhere. I felt frozen in my spot as if my body was listening to his commend but in reality my mind was numb. I didn't know what to do. My chest was tight with fear but at the same time filled with longing to be with my twin. He returned before I could make sense of what I was feeling or what to do. He seemed slightly out breath, and cautiously sat down in front of me.
In his outstretched hand was a flower. I stared at the flower before flickering up at his eyes. They held that gentle gaze that I was used to. There were no more signs of the anger that I saw this morning. "I'm sorry..." he murmured quietly still holding out the single flower. Hesitantly, I reached out and took the delicate item into my own hand while the other gently grasped the hem of his sleeve, testing my boundaries with him.
Slowly a smile claimed his lips. He reached out and his arms wrapped around me for a hug. My hand freed his sleeve and clutched onto him, keeping the flower close to my chest. "I'm sorry too..."
But nothing can stay the same forever.
I've never seen his sharp cerulean eyes directing a glare at me before. His face flush red with anger and his voice yelling at me for the first time. I sat on the floor, just staring up at him with wide eyes, my chest tight with fear. Where was the kind brother that never yelled at me? Who always gave me a smile and bear hug just because he could? Who was this in front of me? My hands reached out trying to hold onto him, wanting him to stop yelling but he stepped back wrenching himself out of my grasp. Sending another vicious glare he stormed out of the room, and I watched his back disappear as the doors slammed loudly behind him.
"Carwyn..." I whimpered curling myself up into a little ball on the carpet floor, tears stinging my eyes. Hiding my face in my brought up knees, I just cried out loud, not caring who heard me. "Carwyn."
Where was my brother?
It wasn't long before I heard the doors swing open, banging against the stone walls. I heard vaguely through my cries the sound of fabric dragging along the floor before I was engulfed in a pair of arms, and pulled into a gentle embrace. Immediately I uncurled myself and clung to my mother's form. "Shh... what is my daughter? What's wrong? Where's Carwyn?"
At the sound of his name I only cried louder. It hurt not being next to Carwyn. It felt like a part of myself was missing, that I was incomplete. But I was terrified of seeing that side of Carwyn, I was terrified to see him again. Mother tried hushing me, her fingers gliding through my locks coxing me to calm down. Eventually, after a long while, I did. Just lying there in her arms, exhaustion claiming my tiny body. My eyes felt puffy and heavy, and I sniffed loudly trying to clear my airways.
Mother began to lift me, my arms naturally wrapping themselves around her neck as her arms secured themselves around me before lifting. She stood up, and over her shoulder I saw father standing in the doorway. He appeared worried, his brows were furrowed in concern but he didn't approach any closer. Mother turned towards him making him leave my sight and I stared into the empty room as she stepped forward. She paused and I felt father's strong hand rub affectionately on my back murmuring my name.
"Carwyn." I heard mother's stern call of his name and automatically I turned my head to peer over my shoulder. Carwyn stood in the hall by a corner, his face was still pink from his previous outburst. But he stiffened when she called him name, his expression held regret but I could only imagine it was regret for coming back and getting caught by mother.
"Carwyn come here." This time it was father and hesitantly, Carwyn unwillingly stepped towards us. I tightened my grip around mother's neck when he neared. He stopped right in front of mother and father, his head ducked low slightly. Mother stared to lower me down to the floor in front of Carwyn, and realizing what she was doing I started to scream. "No!!" I cried clinging to mother's neck tighter, lifting my feet up to her waist to keep them from touching the ground.
Mother said by name, but I ignored her tears coming again. I didn't want to be near him, I was scared of him yelling at me again. I was scared to see that piercing glare. Through my tantrum I failed to see the sudden hurt that crossed Carwyn's face.
Mother secured me in her arms again, walking down the hall way into another room.
The late morning passed to late afternoon. For once, I clung to mother's skirts rather than the Carwyn's blouse. It didn't feel the same, but mother was next comfort I had. My older brothers didn't want their younger sister clinging to them; they want to sword fight, run free. I was only an unwanted burden in their eyes. And my two younger siblings were still to young to wander around without my parents or some sort of adult around.
"Come now, you've been inside all day." Mother gently but firmly urged me forward towards the small steps to the garden. "Enjoy some time outside in the sun. Learn something new from nature, or even go play with your brothers."
My shoulders sagged at her suggestion of my brothers. I all ready knew they would refuse and it was mostly likely that Carwyn was with them. He was a boy, he was allowed to play with our brothers without any prejudice. "But mother-"
Mother cut me off with my name making me wince a little from the tone of voice she gave. There was no point in arguing anymore. "Now go on. You'll be allowed back in after a few hours." With that, she whirled around and disappeared behind closing doors.
With a frown I stepped down to the grass feeling the soft blades under my bare feet. Unable to go back inside I began to wander around. It felt strange being by myself, unnatural almost. I spend a good hour just gazing at the flowers, chasing butterflies, and rolling around in the grass. Until I spotted my brothers in the garden. Instantly, I scrambled behind a patch of overgrown ivy, weaving around a wooden structure.
Squatting down, I waited for them to pass. Minutes went by but I could still hear them from a far. But to far to hear anything comprehensible words. But finally I heard his name. "Carwyn, where you going!?"
I held my breath and I could hear foot steps getting closer. I didn't hear a response from Carwyn but I knew it was his footsteps that were getting closer. Just like I assumed, Carwyn came into full view walking right next to my hiding spot. At first he passed me and I thought I was spared a meeting but he stopped suddenly as if he knew, and he turned around. His eyes were wide with surprise, and I was just as surprised myself that he turned around so suddenly.
A moment past.
"Stay." He told me before taking off somewhere. I felt frozen in my spot as if my body was listening to his commend but in reality my mind was numb. I didn't know what to do. My chest was tight with fear but at the same time filled with longing to be with my twin. He returned before I could make sense of what I was feeling or what to do. He seemed slightly out breath, and cautiously sat down in front of me.
In his outstretched hand was a flower. I stared at the flower before flickering up at his eyes. They held that gentle gaze that I was used to. There were no more signs of the anger that I saw this morning. "I'm sorry..." he murmured quietly still holding out the single flower. Hesitantly, I reached out and took the delicate item into my own hand while the other gently grasped the hem of his sleeve, testing my boundaries with him.
Slowly a smile claimed his lips. He reached out and his arms wrapped around me for a hug. My hand freed his sleeve and clutched onto him, keeping the flower close to my chest. "I'm sorry too..."
Friday, November 8, 2013
The tree
"Let the light guide me...
...and reveal to me what needs to be know."
Wisps of vivid neon green swirl into an image. Twirling around each other, the wisps create roots of a great tree turning brown as the green continues upward designing the trunk up to the tips of the lush leaves sprouting on every branch. Before long, standing in white, I'm staring up at majestic tree.
I step closer but pause from going any further when a white, furred face comes into view from amongst the branches. It steps into full view revealing to be a white fox. It states down at me for a brief moment before jumping down to the ground, taking off in a dash. Easily it rushed past me into the brush of the forest behind, and disappears from sight.
Carefully, I move forward unable to do anything about the fox but curiously wonder why it was up in tree. I climb onto one of its extending trunk roots hugging onto the base, the rough bark pressing against my skin. I climb up as much as I possibly can until I run out of grooves to firmly place my feet or hold onto.
As if the tree sensed my predicament ivy suddenly sprouted from the ground, curling along the bark and amongst each making a thick patch of ivy strong enough to hold my weight. I grasp on and continue my climb until I reach the base of where all the branch reach out from. The area is large enough to walk around and lead to somewhere. A path of grass and pink flowers grow creating a path to follow.
I start following but stop when I hear a faint male voice. "Come back."
I peer over my shoulder, but see no one. I hear it again, softer. "Come back..." I can't help but wake up from my vision.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Just a Smile
This stranger is androgynous; I can't seem to place the gender. Strong enough features to be male but soft enough feminine features to be female. After a slight internal battle, my mind settles on male. He finally turns around noticing that I'm focusing on him. A playful smile dances upon his lips with twinkling eyes to match the playful aura he gives.
My mind automatically deducts he isn't a fae entity. Like I unconsciously know what he is, but consciously I can't place my finger on it.
A smooth, even tone of olive skin covers his form with rich hazel brown eyes to match. He's much taller than myself, formed with lean muscles from what his arms reveal. White textiles cover most of his body keeping him decent. The only skin shown are his shoulder,a arms, neck, and the shins of his legs. There was nothing decorative about the material and no metals adorned him. The locks that cover the top of his head is a light shade of brown, his hair the longest I've ever seen. Evenly cut bangs, styled right above his eyes, and side burns frame his beautiful face. His hair pulled into a high pony tail to only be held together with strands of his own locks weaved around and around until it mimicked a scrunchy.
As soon as I saw him in against the ever green grass, he faded away into nothing. The sight of the traffic road returning into a distinct sharpness.
There was a nagging feeling tugging a way at my mind about the stranger. There was something about him that I knew, something about him that I couldn't find the words for. All I can think is, "Who are you?"
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