No Stronger Bond

"Ancient lovers never forget the echo of each other's hearts. An ocean of lifetimes may pass but still, in the end, your heart will guide you home."

- Unknown

 

I feel comfort from him the instant I lay down on the couch. He's sitting on the ground, not saying anything. His arm is draped over the curve of my waist, resting against my back having his fingers curling around my locks. This is the first interaction we've had since our heated argument last night. I wanted to shy away from his touch, not quite ready to deal with this yet. I was still upset from the argument with everyone, he was no exception. However, I just gave up trying to hide from his touch and let him do what he wanted.

We just sat there silently for a minutes, the TV playing in the background as background noise. The longer I focused on Taran the more the frustration, and irritation died away piece by piece that had built up over all these hours. Just his fingers playing with my hair.

Before I could ask anything, he spoke as if he knew what I was going to question. "Our bond."

"Our bond?" I repeated almost skeptical.

 I felt him lean closer to me, pausing his finger movements. "Obviously you know that we're connect by this point." I gave a tiny nod before he continued. "It's why you're feeling so terrible. It's why you don't feel right."

"Really?" Some disbelief laced in my tone, but something tugged at the back of my mind that there was truth ringing in his words. "Then what about before I knew you were always around?"

"It was always there," he reassured, a smile tugging at his lips. "We never argued before either. The more we began to interact with each other the stronger that bond had grown. Two years of interacting can do a lot."

"So the stress came from not speaking and ignoring?"

Taran lightly tugged at my hair again. "Essentially."

I sighed before he leaned over so more, feeling his lips brushing over my forehead as if they're barely touching. "I'm sorry Taran..."

"It's fine." He accepted my apology, murmuring my very first name I was ever given. "We all knew you would react in some similar way you did. We know you are upset, just bare with us."

I'm still upset about not being told what is going on. I can feel true worry dripping from some that just puts more urgency to understand what's happening or what is going to happen. I don't know, everyone else does, and won't tell me. All I can do is wait much to my dismay, and try to understand why they aren't saying anything.

Some Memories Are Best Left Forgotten

"We need to talk," I demand crossing my firmly arms over my chest. I needed to confirm this information. I faced Carwyn underneath our willow tree, our space that we met when we wanted no one else over hearing our conversations, the leaves acted like veil of protection.

Carwyn merely nodded in agreement to my statement. His long, nearly platinum blond hair was tied into a neat, tight, single braid, but his lengthy sideburns remained free. His normal attire stayed the same; a loose, long sleeve, white shirt with tight, dark pants and matching dark boots. Mine however was not.

A snow white dress adorned my figure with the hems stopping around my ankles prevent the fabric from touching the ground. The sleeves were long and flared out the closer the fabric reached towards my wrists. Gold, intertwining vine patterning embroidered the neckline, sleeve hems, and bottom hem around my feet with a matching cloth sash tied around my waist. My own blonde hair mimicked my twin brother's, a single braid with my side burns free from the bound.

"What do you mean that I have a second romantic soul mate? Is that even possible?" I felt slightly panicked, for reasons I was about to find out.

Carwyn expression mirrored one of slight pain. He didn't want to tell me any of this. "It's possible for certain individuals to have more than one soul mate. You happen to be one of those individuals..."

"And the second one is Kynan? The one I'm suppose to meet in Wales!? I... " I stop. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with the emotions welding up in my chest at the information. Instantly another question pops into my mind. "I've met him before haven't I? In my first life?"

Carwyn nods slowly. "Before Taran, you met him."

"Before Taran? Then how...? When...?" The more I thought about it; more and more pieces starting coming together. Kynan was Carwyn's friend when we were teenagers; he was training to become a druid and was going through bardic training with Carwyn. It was their tenth year in training when I met him.

An image of tall, black haired male flashes before my eyes. His structure is muscular but lean, not one who handles intensive labor but strong enough to handle himself in a fight. Black locks curl around his ears and his bangs neatly styled to stay out of his dark, brown eyes with a tint of gold in them. His skin tone is dark especially in comparison to my twin brother who he was sitting next. I feel my heart beat a little faster at the sight of him but instantly felt shame afterwards. I had Taran, I shouldn't be feeling any of this.

The explanation of why I was with Taran and not Kynan especially if I had met Kynan before Taran slipped into my mind. "I rejected him... he had hurt me." I can no longer stand up. My knees give out and I fall to the ground using the trunk of the willow tree to keep me in a sitting position. Carwyn walked over to me and knelled down, taking one of my hands tenderly.

He brushes his thumb over the top of my hand, his eyes focusing on it as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. "Yes... he did."

Before I can manage out the words of how, I already know. "He... he tried raping me."

Carwyn remains silent, confirming my fears that came with the statement. My mind is racing as if desperately trying to remember what happened. The keyword was tried, meaning he hadn't.

The images start flashing again; I'm being roughly pulled away from my brothers to talk, he's yelling about me talking to someone else. He's jealous, possessive, and was unbelievably cruel that day. I'm being shoved against a tree, pinned as he forces himself on me. I hit, yell for him to stop not understanding why someone I care about was hurting me. I ask why is he doing this before being slapped across the cheek. Before I know it he's being pulled off and punched. Gwilyn, the eldest brother of us all, punched Kynan before grasping hold of Kynan's collar. I'm on the ground still stunned from the hit but when Carwyn's face fills my vision, hands holding onto my face the tears begin. I'm sobbing, confused as Carwyn pulls me to him, holding onto me tightly. Not long after I'm being picked up by Gaerwn, cradling me close to him and through a tear-filled vision Carywn, and Gwalchmai, the youngest brother present, concerned expressions. Eventually I'm sitting by a window watching Kynan walking down a dirt path, he's been exiled from the city.

Everything stops and I'm staring at Carwyn with wide eyes almost not believing what I just saw. But the fear was real. "Both of you would have destroyed each other if you stayed together. You may be soul mates but your presences are to much for each other." He pauses for a moment before finally lifting his gaze. "You had only talked to a friend who happened to be male that day. That's what triggered his anger... When he pulled you away from everyone, I knew something was very wrong. We followed you and well... I had never seen Gaerwn so angry before nor Gwilyn."

"You became rather withdrawn from men after that, not trusting many of them outside of your family. Few years later though, you met Taran," Carwyn continued explaining. "I didn't approve of him at all once I knew you had something your him, and him you. He held all the similar dark features of Kynan: the black hair, dark skin color except for Taran's gold eyes. I thought Taran was worse than Kynan. He had much more wild aura to him where Kynan was more... clean would be a good word to use."

My lips couldn't help but twitch a small grin. Everyone was much more clean than Taran. Carwyn didn't stop, he kept talking as if he needed to tell me all this for my sake. "He's just as you normal describe; rough, vulgar, and can be even cruel. Taran was just as possessive as Kynan but the difference this time was Taran treasured you. If you ever to tell him no, he would listen. He's never cruel to you, and he's good for you."

I didn't know what to say. All of this was something I wouldn't even dream to hear and yet here I was recalling an event of my life that hurt me deep. Kynan was probably the reason why I became known as the chaste queen who dwells in her castle of female only attendants, that is, until I met Taran. But even I recall how much Taran had to fight for my trust and my heart.

"Does he know...?"

Carwyn pauses before answering. "If he didn't, he does now."

I glance towards the veil of leaves to see his silhouette standing by them unmoving as if he's waiting for permission. Carwyn lifts my hand and presses a light kiss on the top of my hand. "I'm sure he wants to comfort you," he murmurs before standing and heading towards Taran. I watch Carwyn pat Taran's shoulder, exchanging quiet words before tucking outside of the willow tree.

Taran's movement are rather stiff and cautious but eventually he makes his way toward me. He lowers himself to the ground in front of me, and just gathers me up into his large arms without a word. I just curl up into him as he grips onto me tightly just feeling rather numb to really feel anything else. I don't want to think of anything but the warmth he is providing. At the moment, nothing else matters.

It's All About the Chase

"Get down from there."

I shake my head defiantly towards the figure below, and reach up for another branch within my willow tree I envisioned only yesterday. "I don't think so." The glorious part about not physically being in this realm is that I can do things I normally can't. Grasping a branch I haul myself up with ease as Taran climbs onto the lowest branch, looking up at me all ready climbing higher into the tree.

"Your going to run out of branches sooner or later," he comments the obvious. The down fall of my willow tree is it's not as tall as the variety of tree life surrounding it. He stays squatting on the lowest branch with a frown. "Am I going to have to climb up to get you?"

Reaching the highest branch that I could without it breaking, I straddle it peering down through the maze of branches and leaves with a smile. "Your going to have to since I'm not going to focus on meditating on the wedding like I'm suppose to."

Taran returns to the ground without effort. Crossing his arms and resting his chin on top of them, he places them on the limb he was just on, staring upwards. "Just come down."

Feeling high and mighty, I shrug off his statement. "I don't want to."

He does a mixture of a groan and a sigh, burying his face into his arms. "You are just as difficult as before."

Curious to hear the comment on my first lifetime, I couldn't help but ask. "Was I?"

Hearing my question, he lifts his head again. "Yes. You were just more..." he strays off trying to find the right phrase. "...elegant with your words."

That would make sense. My first life involved lots of proper behavior, however, I do know I did not let any of that bound me also knew that my temper was fiercer than it is now. "How about this?" I start catching his attention. "You tell me something about my past that I don't know in order to make up for not focusing on my sister-in-law's wedding."

Taran considers my offer for a moment before agreeing. But despite the agreement, he remains silent. His face scrunch up in hard thought. I honestly didn't think that he would have a hard time thinking up something from our past to reveal. Finally he spoke with frustration laced in his tone. "I don't know. You liked to climb trees?"

I sent him a skeptical look. "I all ready knew that, after all, look where I am now." Shifting a little bit, I start swinging my legs that hover over nothing. "Honestly you can't think of anything?" I mule over the little past I knew between the two of us. "How about a favorite place we would go?"

If possible his face expresses him going deeper into thought.

"We did have one... right?" Doesn't every couple have one? Movies and books always have a special place that couples had, people spoke of stories, wouldn't it be natural? I try recalling myself. A lot of my memories with Taran are in my castle as a setting, however there was one other...

"That rock formation..." I start and Taran looks up.

"From your past memory?" He question wanting clarification. I nod but he shakes his head. "That's from your second life."

"That explains the curls I see."

"Oh yeah." he comments under his breath, a tone of remembrance.

I think again before another scene flickers in my mind. The meadow within the forest. 'How Twilight that sounds...' I couldn't help but think. However, this place was far more beautiful. "The meadow..."

Taran instantly nods at my suggestion. "Yes, that was definitely the place. That's why it was the first scenery you thought when you began seeing us, why this is the scenery of your soul chamber."

Unconsciously I nod to his explanation, still swinging my legs. That made a lot of sense, not quite sure why that place was so special yet. But eventually I'm sure I would learn by the end of the summer if everything goes as planned.

"Are you coming down now?"

In response I lay down along the branch. "I said I would, just not when." He growls in slight frustration, making me smile. "You don't like climbing tress do you?"

He begrudgingly answers. "No.

"Aw, your so much like a dog." I couldn't help tease, I hardly ever in a position to exercise this power. Despite my tease I slowly made my way down towards the ground. I watch him straighten his posture, no longer leaning against the branch with crossed arms. Finally I reach the branch I began with, I sit down with my legs hanging over the edge not making another further method to touch the ground. Taran moves to stand in front of me, his muscled arms planted on either side me on the bark.

I cock a brow, silently indicating what he was going to do now.

"Why are you always difficult?"

I stare at him. "Seriously? Why are you always difficult?"

We batter back and forth until I get fed up with it. I move to reach up for the branch above to retreat back into the leaves however I'm not quick enough. He grabs a hold of my waist and yanks me down and away from the tree entirely. With a small scream I wrap my arms around the closest thing, which happens to be his neck as he holds me in his arms all ready retreating outside the veil of leaves from the willow.

"What are you doing!?" I snap but in complete surprise. "What if I hit the tree or gotten hurt because you yanked me down? Just like how I got a bloody nose that one you hit me on the head?"

He shrugs nonchalantly. "I would apologize for hurting you."

I would have yelled at him a little more, however, I remember our position. Feeling the sudden urgency to remove myself from his arms before a certain predicament occurs, I start to struggle in his arms. As if he had read his mind, I didn't struggle for long feeling him reach behind my head to hold it as he moved his nose into my hair and inhaled deeply. Reflexively my nails dig into his skin and I curl inwards towards myself with a some whimper. Physically or not, I hate when he does that.

"Your such a dog!" I huff out after the onslaught is finished. I find myself being placed on a smooth, large rock as he lowers himself to the ground. I can't help but think how natural he looks being in nature. His clothes are far from nice but still suit him despite all of that.

He doesn't comment at my insult/truth but takes my hand. He lifts my hand up turning it so my palm is facing upwards. He leans forward and kisses lightly the palm of my hand, his golden eyes staring straight at me. Except his eyes are focused, intense just like a predator focused on its prey. I could feel my heart skip and my cheeks flush slightly at the look. Instantly I get to my feet and try walking a way a little but his grip tightens preventing me from walking to far. "You know you can't resist me," he comments. I'm alittle more aware of just how deep his voice is naturally.

"Yes I can," I refute instantly ignore my flushed cheeks and hold my head a little higher in a challenge.

He grins but it's wolfish just revealing how non-human he is. "Yes. You can throw all things you want at me, or yell at me but in the end you always give up."

"And if I keep resisting?" I challenge further as if my pride is being threatened.

"It's all about the chase babe."

The Swing On The Top of the Hill

There is a swing on the top of a hill.

The tree is full of lush apple green leaves, and the bark is faded out brown, almost white. Hanging on the lowest branch was a pair of ropes and at the ends they were tied to a flat, worn wooden plank. I move to sit on the swing holding onto the ropes with each hand, feeling the rough texture. I dig my toes into the soft grass beneath and look out at the scenery, taking in the familiarity.

I've been here before.

My preteen self hold onto the ropes tighter feeling the swing push forward and could feel Gaerwn's presence behind me. His feet are planted firmly on the wooden plank on either side of me, his hands gripping the ropes as well but much higher and tower over me slightly.  "Why are you always alone?"

I glare up at my older brother. "I am not always alone."

"Yes, you are."

"No, Carwyn is always with me!" I argue back wanting him to get off my swing. He was going to get mud on my white dress.

Gaerwn's eyebrow rose. "I don't see him now."

This time I remain silent and glance to the ground, my toes barely brushing against the grass blades on the ground. Lately Carwyn has been away from her side, busy with his studies with the teacher leaving me with nothing to do. I don't have any friends, but I don't need any. I only need my siblings, I only need Carwyn.

I hear a sigh and the swing jerks again. Gaerwn steps off the swing and he walks around until he is standing in front of me. His golden hair is getting longer. Finally long enough to pull the locks into a low pong tail against the nap of his neck. "You know mom and dad are worried about you."

This time I duck my head, avoiding Gaerwn's sharp cerulean gaze. I could feel some shame and guilt fill in my chest. I would never want my parents to worry especially mother. I hear another sigh and feel Gaerwn's arms wrap around my shoulders. He kisses my forehead before pulling me closer to rest my head against his chest.

I stand and start walking down the hill towards the forest the lingers at the bottom. Before I get to far, I pause and glance over my shoulder to gaze at the swing. I could my younger self from another lifetime sitting there with Gaerwn. In the mythology, my first life self was described as an icy queen but after remembering this I wonder if there really is some truth to it.

I reach the edge of the forest knowing I have to enter it to find Azrael. However this time, no running. Before I begin my venture in, I pause at a willow tree that marked the trail that led into the forest. Slowly I step towards the tree, lifting a hand and pull away a curtain of leaves to enter the little bubble space that the tree created with its long, dipping branches.

As if on instinct I walk towards the trunk and begin climbing onto one of the thick branches that would hold my weight and the closest one to the ground. The textured bark feels good underneath my fingers and palms of my hands. I always love climbing trees, I wish there were more great, old trees to climb and rest in in the reality. Finally securely on a branch, I lay along it my body molding with it in order to keep balance, my eyes focused on the tips of the branches that sprouted at the end of the one I was laying on. Until I see Azrael land on the same branch, crouching.

The branch doesn't even bend or creak under his weight. Everything about his was the same even the wings in which I end up staring at again. He gives a curious look, and I shake my head as I pull myself up into a sitting position. "Your wings are distracting..." Azrael smiles but doesn't comment.

He cocks his head, dark eyes glancing around the willow tree in wonder before he met my eyes again. "Why a willow tree?"

Out of second nature I shrug but I do take time to dwell on his question. Lifting my gaze I take in all the numerous branches above me, all the leaves keeping most of the sunlight out and creating shade. "I've always liked willow trees. They always feel protective with their dipping branches, keeping everything out."

I lower my gaze, and I see an approving grin. "You aren't going to tell me anything."

"No," he answers with a shake of his head.

"Because I'm suppose to figure everything myself."

"Correct, I'm only here to guide."

I stare at him long before something clicks in my mind. "I need to find my soul, I need to find my first life and remember everything before I go to Wales."

The smile gives away his answer before he even speaks. I aimed, fired and hit a bull's eye. He can't tell me anything because there is nothing for him to tell. Where I find him is probably where my soul is located, where ever that may be. But this only leads to more confusing questions; why do I need to remember everything before I go to Wales? Why did he come to help reveal all this instead of someone else? Why is this so important? I want to ask all these question but I all ready know he won't answer any of them.

"I knew you were a smart girl," he compliments but I raise my eyebrows.

"Girl?"

He laughs lightly. "I'm sorry, smart young woman."

I silently accept his correction. "You'll guide me through different memories until I remember everything," I concluded out loud and he nods, agreeing.

I can all ready see where the next memory is to take place in the back of my mind. A castle with a celebration going on. Tieve's wedding day.

Because I Don't Tell You Enough

Lately I've been reminded how incredibly lucky I am to have Taran.

Despite his arrogant, vulgar, and rough personality he knows how to handle to me when I need him. Knowing every night, no matter what, he will urge me to come to him with open arms and I am just engulfed with his warmth as I slip into the dream world.

I know that you are not suppose to use the phrase 'thank you' to faeries but thank you Taran for choosing me. Thank you for finding me lifetime after lifetime knowing that there is the possibility that I won't come in contact with you. Thank you for always staying by my side even through the toughest times. Thank you for loving me the way you do. I never say this enough but I love you and I appreciate everything you do.

Catch Me If You Can

I'm standing in darkness.

"Are you here?" I call out into the darkness unsure if I'll get a response.

Surprisingly I do. "Yes." His voice is light, gentle and smooth. Almost like the flow of water or the sound of a bell being lightly tapped.

"Can I see you?" He response with another yes and almost instantly features start appearing. Short, neat black locks covers the top of his head, bangs swept side ways stopping right above his dark, sapphire blue eyes, and long side burns brush against his defined jawline, framing his face. He stands at least a foot taller than me, my neck craning slightly to peer up at him. His outfit consist of a dark green t-shirt overlapping a long black sleeve, his hands slipped into his slightly baggy jeans. A gentle smile tugged at his lips, his eyes twinkling. But what surprised me most of all was his large, feathery white wings behind him.

I've never seen anyone's wings before.

He tilts his head ever so slightly, curious. "I've never seen anyone's wings before, not even Michael's..." I felt like I had to explain myself, the words coming out before I could think. "I was just surprised."

Azrael's smile widened. "If they bother you..." He didn't even finish the sentence. Slipping a hand out of his pocket and a small flick of his wrist, they magnificent wings were gone. He stepped closer towards me until he was right in front of me, my neck craning a little more.

"Did you come to me in my dream?"

"I did." He gave a small nod of his head.

Recalling my conversation with my friend in the morning, emotion leaped in my chest. "You aren't here for my grandmother, are you?"

He reached out, his fingers barely brushing across my cheek. "No, but I'm afraid I will have come back to you when that time comes." He all ready knows my tight attachment to my grandmother. I can see it in his eyes; the swirl of sad knowing that it'll be a hard experience for me to endure. 

Ignoring what I just saw, I felt relief ebb in relaxing my muscles that I had unawarely tightened. "Then... It's about the war, isn't it?"

"Yes."

I sighed. "I figured as much..."

Azrael raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Well, I wasn't certain. But it was a thought did pass my mind, one out of many that is."

All of a sudden his wings appeared again and his feet left the ground. The darkness faded into a forest scenery under the starry sky. He glided thought air effortlessly. Still facing towards me, he held out both of his hands if he wanted me to take them and glided away from me. "Come and find me."

Instantly I reached out a hand to grasp one of his, my feet moving into a run as he slowly disappeared before me eyes into the forest. I was not nearly fast enough to catch him. "Wait, am I going to have to find you like in my dream?" I called out.

I could hear his voice as if he stood next to me. "Yes."

"If I find you then you'll tell me what I need to know?"

"Yes."

I kept running, feeling my chest heave. My eyes searched past the trees for any sign of the whiteness of his wings. But there was nothing but endless tree stumps.

I wanted him to keep talking to me. I wanted to find him, I wanted to know what was going on. recalling a specific detail in my dream, I decided to ask knowing he would heear me. "Does it have to do with when I go to Wales? Are you supposed to help me with something related to that?"

"Yes."

My running came to a complete stop when my foot snagged something And I went crashing down into the ground feeling damp mud and grass burn against my skin. Slowly get up and lean against a large rock feeling achy. I examined my elbow streaked with mud and grass stains. The urge to cry started to build up, tightening my chest. I inhale shaky, lifting my head up to see Azrael gently dropping down onto a old, fallen over log.

Slowly I approach him cradling my elbow. When I near, he squats down in order to be eye length with me. His wings are gone again. He reaches out a hand again, brushing his fingers on my cheek.

"Your soul cries."

I blinked, ignoring feeling my eyes stinging with the want to cry and trying to understand what he had just said to me. It was... Unexpected.

Holding my gaze, he asked quietly. "What are you afraid of?"

I glance away from his eyes, thoughts of what terrify me instantly coming to mind. Lifting my eyes to meet his gaze, the words just escaped my mouth. "I worry about my best friend, I want her to stay safe." Azrael's lips twitch back into a small smile, knowing exactly who I was talking about.

"I'm sure she'll be just fine."

"I know... But worrying is natural when we're apart." I paused before continuing my list. "I'm afraid of what is to come with the war. I'm afraid for my family, both my physical family and my family from my first life. I'm afraid of death."

I watch him give another smile, one of understanding.

With a deep breath I add one more. "I'm afraid of losing Taran." Finally one tear managed to escape and slide down. I could recall the conversation that I had with Taran; admitting my fear of losing him  and how I could hardly grasp what to do with him gone, admitting that I would never understand how he felt when he's endured three lives of myself being murdered or dying in accidental deaths. Hearing  him explaining that he can't promise that he won't get hurt but promise that he'll keep living and wishing dearly that I won't ever have to go through the experience of losing him like he did when he lost me.

Azrael brushed his thumb to wipe away the tear. "Do you feel better?"

My chest did feel a little lighter, but there was still a slight ache. I gave a small nod, "Alittle."

He gave an encouraging smile before standing up again. "I'll come into your dream again tonight, but you still have to come find me." And with that he disappeared again.

On the Flight

Deafening sound reverberated through the air making the earth shake, trees moaned and creaked under air pressure with each beat of the wings. I crouched down feeling my whole body vibrate from both the sound and air pressure as the large beast flew over the tree tops. I peer up at the sky just seeing the scaly tail disappear from my sight.

I take off running down the hill, my chest heaving from adrenaline and slight fear. How does one fight a dragon? Random people rush past me form, retreating in the direction I come from as I go towards the chaos. Ahead at the bottom of the hill, a three story white building is being consumed by fire, a pale dry green dragon with a white underside flying above the house, fire spitting from it's wide carniverous jaws. Finishing it's fire breath, and a strong beat of its wings the dragon took off back into the grey sky.

Nothing could be done about the burning building, I took off again in the direction the dragon was headed. Ahead I could see two companions of mine doing the exact same thing I was, tracking down the dragon. "Eochaidh!" I called out. The tallest of the two paused, peering over his shoulder to see that I was heading in his direction before starting his run again. I managed to catch up, and head the dragon swooped by through the pine trees. It was nearly impossible to keep up with this angry creature.